theboredboi:

awww.

My nephew screaming

I hate it when I get a random text from a number not in my phonebook anymore that states “I MISS YOUR COCK:D”.

Thanks stranger! I am sure it misses you too!

In best Oprah voice:” I MADE COOKIES!!!!!”

scaly-panties:

• and how all the kids that got on that show were fucking dumbasses
• like seriously
• the show came on every other fucking day
• there are only three pieces of the silver monkey statue
• THE PIECES ARE THE SAME EVERY TIME
• AND YET
• every time some little shit gets to the end…

I don’t understand why men who are interested in “women” message me and want me to bareback them, then send me a photo of their cock…. What the cock is that shit?!?

July 15th, 2015

Breaking News!

President Santorum plans to select two teens from each state, one gay and one lesbian between the ages of 12 and 18, to be placed in an arena to fight to the death in a televised spectacle. 

“The lone victor of this fight will serve as a reminder to other gay Americans of the kindness we demonstrate to them each day by letting them live. “

said President Santorum at last night’s White House gala.

I hate when this happens